This is my tribute to the typical American Father, and first off before I get to my tribute let me say that I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking... wait, did you all stop thinking for a moment? You did, didn’t you! You read that I was saying, ‘I know what your thinking', and then you decided to stop thinking for a second so that there was no way for me to say what you’re thinking. In fact I can prove it, and I know what your thinking, you’re thinking (long pause)
Why did he put a (long pause) there? No, I know what you’re thinking, youre thinking, ‘he doesn’t know what I’m thinking?’ No, I know what you’re thinking, you're thinking ‘what’s he going to say next that I’m thinking’. No, I know what you're thinking, you're thinking... you're thinking... you know what? I don’t know what you were thinking. Alright? I don’t know what you were thinking. In fact I have no IDEA what you were thinking. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? You know what? You weren't thinking were you. You weren’t thinking! I proved it, you were not thinking! YOU WEREN’T THINKING! YOU GOTTA START USING YOUR HEAD AND THINKING!!!
And that’s my tribute to the standard american father.
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